(Inspired by an XIV century fable: The Crumbs of Black Bread)

Frank had finally decided that it was time to move on. One hundred years on the planet was enough.

Everyone he knew was gone.

His family was gone.

His friends were gone.

His enemies, if he had any, were gone.

Even his favorite political party was gone, replaced by the FRISBY party.

I have no idea what the acronym means, but it had something to do with uniting all the parties under one leader. One of their platform planks was a free hair cut every month for all citizens so that the population could look tidy and feel good about themselves.

They had just discovered a new vaccine for Covid 19. It was made from dandelion roots. Go figure

There was new adoption program afoot. Adopt a child. Adopt a cat. Adopt a park. Adopt a highway. Adopt a senior and keep him/her out of the Long Term Care System.

Frank had enough and accepted the offer to move. He did have some hesitations about travel arrangements but he agreed.

Between his taking that decision and his arrival at the pearly gates took about one-half a Nano second

There he was. They really were pearly gates. Honest!

All his papers were prepared. If anything Frank was organized up the Ying Yang.

However, there was some kind of a glitch.

Lt. Colonel Peter, in charge of all border situations was concerned.

One of the sine quo non conditions for acceptation into the kingdom was at least one unconditional act of kindness in a lifetime when nothing was expected in return. This seemed to be missing from Frank’s documentation. Frank had spent much of his life volunteering. He even spent years blowing up soccer balls. (Inflating, that is) It had to be a question of definitions.

Unless this could be corrected Lt. Colonel Peter would send him back to the holding tank for a few more eons. This was the law.

As Frank was about to leave a voice came from inside the gate.

“Lt. Colonel Peter, one instant please. May I speak?”

“Permission granted”, the Colonel replied.

The man was tattered and dishevelled but shone like the noonday sun.

“Many years ago I was standing outside the Beer Store at the East View Mall in Ottawa waiting to get in. This good gentleman came up to me and gave me several hundred beer cans in a great plastic sack. He set them down at my feet and walked away. I did not even have time to thank him. I traded the cans in for a 26er of Schmirnoffs. The boys who live under the bridge with me had a wonderful afternoon sipping Vodka thanks to this man.”

Lt. Colonel Peter turned to Frank and motioned him to follow. Frank strung his guitar over his shoulder, he really was a troubadour at heart and just needed a situation that allowed him to sing. He picked up his bike with the other arm and stepped over the entrance to the kingdom. As he did so he began to shine like the morning sun. He didn’t know it but he was finally home.”

What goes around comes around.

Amen. So be it.


June 15, 2020